Curtain Call

One last outcry, one last wish.
As I say goodbye, for possibly the last time,
I can' help myself but saying sorry.
The lives, I've touched, tainted,
The colours I've experienced and made.
Now only a black mark will be left,
staining my memory of those around me.
As the curtains fall, I can't help but think...


Was any of it worth it?

Cloudy days

Wish I could smile as much as I used to

Like humans do

Little by little we inch forward,
Slowly as the ledge comes closer into view,
Like six broken ponies the seething mass,
Writhing and bubbling, twists the lie,
Wind on the face, we look into the breeze,
Knowing with just a step it can change so fast.

Shadow of the Day

No bad things said,
no bad blood bled.

Just a solitary tear,
rolls down my frozen heart

Up the proverbial creek...

Cant concentrate on revising, cant concentrate on coursework... Im screwed.

Headaches

Fucking hate the fear and loathing in my life.
At least the one person who I cared would
care understands.

All Roads Lead Back To Rome

The direction that they all go in heads to exactly the same place, so why do I sometimes feel as if I'm going in completely the wrong direction?

Flawed notions

Just because life is mysterious doesnt me that every single little thing someone one is meant and mixed with secret meanings! Stop looking for things that don't exist! Stop feeling sorry for yourself noone else does! And stop being so bloody minded!

Its been a while

Now I know there are those out there who will agree with me on this...

Sometimes a great mine can be a horrible thing.

I wouldn't say that I have a great mind, but I do find it infuriating how
I examine every aspect of things that happen to me, both in and outside
of my control. Making links that don't exist, and ignoring the links that
do because I'm focusing on the wrong things.

It helps to have a rant I know and get things off your chest, but for those
who might actually bother to read this, it'll just seem like another juvenile
with too much crap in their head and should just get on with dealing with
it. Well that can be the problem sometimes, getting on and dealing with
it just leads to more problems than when you started out in this world.

Well sod this, just going to ignore my head and carry on regardless, it
would seem by heart has better direction than my head so I'm just going
to let that lead me instead.

Fucking peace out.

Mood Swings like a Brick at a Window

So much fun

One more notch

Well this is put a wonderful spin on the end of the day.

Its wonderful to find out just how much fun your having
in somebody's life. Screwing with their head and messing
with their life, just what I like to do.

Even as I try to take a step back from their life I find out
its just as damaging to do as stay all in, so I'm left with the
resounding feeling that I'm destroying someone's life and
staying around to bask in the glory of the act, when all I
want to do is curl up in a corner and die.

So much fun.
Night and peace.

Breath

Just calm down and the shaking will go away

Ides of a 'best friend'

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Do you have no self-control when it comes to women?!

You know you've fucked up real bad when you have your head between the legs of your best friends girl, you fucking stupid knob!

Distant Shores

One thing you should always remember.
One phrase or saying or whatever you want to call it...

The sun always sets on the horizon,
meaning its rising on a new shore,
where a new story is being written.

Whatever happened today, it is being
rewritten and forgotten. If one thing goes
wrong, allow it to be rewritten and
forgotten. So just live in the moment.

And above all, smile whatever.

Seeds

Like the vines of a grape, the things that once were distasteful to us do bear fruit that I've come to love so much

Ill smile in the meantime

Can't believe I'm saying this but I am serious considering suicide as a career prospect at the moment

Who knows where we'll be in 12 months

Crouching tiger...

Ever wonder how friends can both show you how much of an impression you've made on people and also how little you mean to others. The ones you consider sometimes to be even just aquaintences are often the ones that will become the safety net when you fall through the cracks of a friend who is too busy to guide you on your way to something better.

Which leads me back to my title, to finish by saying that it's those friends that stay and wait for a time when they can help you that you discover who really cares. And I call the my ... Hidden Friends.

Creature Comforts

Call me a creature of habit, but its the little things that mean the most to me.

A simple 'hello, how are you?, hows your day been?' routine, as mundane as it is, gives me a smile that just shows that someone is interested in what you have to say and how you've been.

2 steps forward

Finally can say that Im taking strides and leaps to advancing where I am.

With two of the four aspects moving on, now just wait to see if the other
aspects will follow suit or trend as usual.

The King Is Dead, Long Live the King!